Knowing, and I mean really knowing yourself is crucial to achieving success. And freedom.

learn everything you need to know about importance of getting to know yourself + see 7 crucial questions you need to ask yourself to see who you really are

As a teenager I never thought I would be here right now, writing these words.

Who ever knows what the future will bring? As a 15-year-olds we imagine our adulthood quite differently than it later turns out.

Young adults usually want the following things in the following order: graduate, be successful and have a job they love, a loving partner and children in their twenty-something.

We keep ”competing” who will achieve something sooner.

it’s not too late

We keep reading articles saying ‘He has this or that and all by the age of ____. They bought a house and started a family by the age of ___. He makes ____ (insert the amount of money) at his ____ (insert age).’

What is the point of all of this?

Each person has his own timing for things. There are no strict rules of when a person can succeed.

Many start a family in their fourties.

Some people create a succesful business in their sixties.

It doesn’t matter when.

It matters how.

It matters that we never stop learning about ourselves and that we never stop working towards achieving our goals!

Some people I know turned thirty (or forty) and then give up on their dream because the time is up.

Up? Wait a minute, are they dying?

We all want certain things in life. Unfortunately, many people never reach most of them. Nothing strange so far. Sometimes there just isn’t enough effort put into reaching our goals or other troubles may come by.

Sometimes people don’t take time to really get to know their true identity and consequently follow the wrong path or fall into wrong relationships one after another.

What is more strange to me is that I wished these exact things most of my adulthood and only a few years before my 30th birthday I started to realize that having all of those things will make everyone around me happy. Except me.

family matters but only if you’re ready for it

I felt ‘ready and totally capable’ at 20 years old to be a mother. But something changed as I grew older.

I stopped being ready. When I look back I see the way I grew as a person and let me tell you; I was far from capable and ready back then. I can see it now but I didn’t see it then. That’s just one example.

In about five years I do wish to have a family. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against regular jobs, and I am happy for those who love what they do. I also know many started a family at a very young age and made excellent parents.

I am not trying to prove otherwise. What I am trying to say is that the point of leading a happy life is knowing your true self and going after it.

importance of knowing yourself when in relationship

Too many failed relationships happen because one does not know what he or she wants. Too many divorces happen because two people don’t know themselves or one another enough to have a happy long-lasting marriage.

If you don’t know yourself, then how can you truly know who is the ideal partner for you? If you’re one of those people who start to act and like the same things as partner does and when you move to the next relationship, you do the same with the next one.

In other words, you always become the same as your partner. Because you can’t be yourself. Because you don’t really know yourself!

It means we have a problem, and I don’t mean to sound harsh.

So how to get to know yourself?

You’ll have to ask yourself the following questions :

1. What was I like as a kid and what did I enjoy doing?

(Besides kicking sand for no reason. No reason at all. )

2. Who do I love to spend the time with and what are they like?

3. What is my all time favourite song and why?

4. What is my favourite movie and why?

5. Imagine your perfect day. A day you wouldn’t mind spending over an over again. Write it down.

6. What would you do if you suddenly get one million dollars? 

7. What are your biggest weaknesses?

***Not really sure which hobbies / acitivities are made for you? Well, that’s something you better learn about yourself as soon as possible.

Have a weekly challenge. Try something new every weekend. Sooner or later you’ll find something you especially enjoy in or something you’re very good at and wouldn’t mind doing it more often.

Related post – List of 112 activities to do when feeling bored.

SO WHAT NOW?

You don’t know yourself, you don’t know what you want, and you will need to be alone for a while and truly focus on finding out what kind of person you are, what interests you, what is it that you’re truly passionate about.

And when you find that out and learn to be happy on your own, only then you’re finally ready to have a true lasting relationship.

Related post – How to be happy if you are all alone

Too many people live in broken homes because of it and because of starting a family without being prepared for it. Too many couples just weren’t ready to be parents just yet, and the pressure it brings.

Personally, I believe that the majority of us get to know our real self in our late twenties or when we reach our thirties (and I’m not saying that because I’m 31). I honestly think we learn and grow and evolve our entire life, but something big crucial happens to our mind between our 20th and 30th year.

Something like a little crisis to experience as much as we can before it is too late.

It happens unexpectedly. Not to everyone but to those open-minded and eager to learn.

What do you think? Would you agree or do you have other beliefs you want to share? I’d really love to hear your opinion!

In my case, I have been in a few wrong relationships, and I am grateful to this day that I haven’t started a family, yet. Because I’ve changed so much over the last past years and my previous partners did too. Those relationships ended for a reason, not because something is wrong with them or me but because people change. We simply do.

A final note on the relationship/family matter – It is better to be alone for a while and don’t rush into something just for the sake of it. The only way you’ll meet the ideal partner is by knowing yourself enough (Or by luck. Haha).

Sometimes it is better to wait with having kids than to have them in an unhealthy environment. And don’t have them just because others around you have certain expectations.

See related posts:

16 Amazing Tips For Rapid Increase Of Your Productivity

How to really get to know yourself? And why is it so important to know who you are?

How to be happy if you are all alone

what about that job you can’t stand? 

I wanted a regular job after graduating, so bad!

But as I went through my study years that changed, too. I didn’t want it anymore. I mean, who was I kidding, that’s not my way of living a life.

My parents have a difficult time accepting this fact but it is my life after all. If you’re feeling the same, don’t let the pressure of your family and friends get to you.

Stand up for yourself and your life.

I constantly told myself: ‘Finish university, become a math teacher and start working in school right away.’ That was what I wanted from the very start, and that’s what everyone expected of me. But things didn’t go quite as planned.

Before I’ve even gotten the job opportunity, I got an offer to be a math tutor. It means I could work whenever I wanted, arrange my own schedule to work with clients. Take time off whenever I wanted and was being paid a decent amount. A couple of years into this and my wish to become a school teacher faded away. Just the thought of losing this flexibility brought anxiety to my chest.

The lesson I learned:

Once you get the taste of flexibility it is extremely difficult to get settled in with more safe, regular job.

But is not just that. I figured out; I don’t want it any different way. If you feel like you are stuck, it is not too late to make that change. There are tons of opportunities for flexible jobs you can start as soon as possible.

My biggest goal and motivation after reaching flexibility in this moment of life is to be a location-independent woman. And I believe I will succeed at it. Why do I believe that?

Well, because I am not planning to give up any time soon.

If you wish to succeed at something, don’t let the difficulty of it stop you.

Breakthrough the hardest part.

Be consistent.

Don’t give up.

Motivate yourself daily.

You name it.

Bottom line is, if you feel like you’re too old to change your life-course, I am here to tell you that it is not too late!

I know many people who turned a completely new chapter in their life at a time when everybody around them thought they shouldn’t even bother because they are too old for that. And they didn’t listen to them. They were laughed at. But it didn’t stop them.

Now, they are one of the happiest people alive. I plan to write some posts about these specific cases more in the future.

So tell me.

Can you truly say you know who you are?

Are you the one who believes it’s too late?

Are you living by expectations of other people or are you living life on your own terms?

Let me know in the comments below. Maybe we can help each other. I sure hope I’ve helped in you in any way with this post.

Until next time,

Dinka

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