Follow these effective steps that helped me get the confidence I needed.

This article is for you if:

• You want to know the secret of most confident people
• You want to become more self-confident
• You want to easily approach people and make conversations
• You want to have more courage to talk to someone you fancy
• You want to read my personal story of how I’ve gone from I-want-to-hide-my-head-in-the-sand-woman at all to a strong self-confident one.

So if you feel related to at least one of the points, then stick around to learn more. Yes I know, confidence can be a tough thing to build up. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

Yes, it takes time.

Yes, it takes practice.

Yes, it takes patience and a strong will.

But it’s totally worth it in the end, I promise.

I’ve been through this. I am a pretty shy woman in certain companies and I’ve always been more on the introvert side. I used to be afraid to speak about new ideas out loud (even if I knew they were good) or join a group of people because of the fear of being rejected. I’ve fought battles with myself because of it.

My journey from then to now is remarkable and inspiring to everyone who is going through the same hell, that is why I need to share this with you.

I want to guide you step-by-step to become the self-confident person you strive to be (and deserve). I want to help you with my own story and personal advice/tips.

We all have crises of confidence. And, if your lack of confidence is keeping you in a bad job or poor relationship — or keeping you from moving forward in your life or career, you’re not alone.

Confident people believe in themselves and have a positive mindset. People lack confidence, feel insecure about themselves and their decisions.

Can you remember a time in your life when you felt confident? A time when you felt unstoppable… on top of the world? Now imagine you could feel that way more often.

Life is crazy, busy and beautiful. Figuring out how to be more confident is just part of the journey.

THE SECRET OF THE MOST CONFIDENT PEOPLE IS …

They don’t really bother what the majority of people think of them.

Of course, I am not trying to say you shouldn’t care and always do whatever the hell you feel like all the time without thinking about someone else’s feelings.

I am trying to say that opinions of others shouldn’t get to you in a way that stops you from doing the right thing (if you feel deep down this is the right thing to do).

I want to clarify myself with the story I remember …

I had a friend from our high school that wanted to be a dancer. The gut was telling her to just do it and join a club but her silly parents were against it. They told her (in a nice way) she doesn’t have what it takes to be a dancer because she was a bit chubby and clumsy and that she should focus on her mental skills.

From what I saw they were afraid that others might make fun of her and make her feel sad. They thought they are doing the right thing because they wanted to prevent her from being hurt and all but the truth is that they hurt her self-confidence even more.

They wanted to wrap her in her own cocoon but in the long run, this harmed her future even more. I felt really bad when I heard this so I stepped in.

I and a few other friends told her that she shouldn’t listen to them and that we would help her. We knew how to be persuasive all right, haha. We threw her a challenge.

To join a dancing club, tell everyone about her challenge and rebellion so other dancers can be proud of her, to be consistent about dancing and lose a certain amount of pounds to feel better about herself. And to prove her parents wrong.

It was a challenge accepted, this huge motivation has driven her to succeed at it. In the future years of knowing her, I could see how much confidence she gained.

And the next time someone gave her the slightest hint that she isn’t capable of doing a certain thing, she always has this story to remind her.

I want you to use this story to remind YOU, that you CAN do something. And you WILL do it! Or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

Your choice. Don’t let the lack of confidence or doubts of others stop you.

See related posts:

16 Amazing Tips For Rapid Increase Of Your Productivity

How to really get to know yourself? And why is it so important to know who you are?

How to be happy if you are all alone

SO HOW CAN YOU BECOME MORE SELF-CONFIDENT? (step-by-step)

1. The key is to clarify the root of your problem

Write down the main points of your life and evaluate how confident you were at the time. Be really honest with yourself, there is no point of lying to yourself.

Try to dig in your past and figure out what might have caused this. It is a lot easier to succeed at gaining your confidence if you know what caused this state in the first place. Did your parents or friends keep telling you that you aren’t good enough for something?

If that’s the case, then let me tell you that THEY aren’t good enough in treating their children or friends. They aren’t good enough or else they wouldn’t say such nonsense.

Take whatever made you feel like that and throw it back in the past and let it stay there. You are a changed person now, you are strong and you learn from your mistakes and mistakes of others. Make something good out of all this.

2. Daily affirmations.

Wait..what?! Affirmations?

Then you haven’t tried for long enough to know the true power of affirmations. Whatever you keep saying to yourself on the daily basis, you attract that in your life. Whatever you keep repeating, it becomes a part of your subconscious mind and consequently a part of your reality.

So stop doing that!

If you keep saying to yourself that you aren’t good enough then you’ll never be. It will affect your relationships, your job. People can sense the lack of confidence and it will drive them away from you. Every task done with that belief, will not be done efficiently.

So what should you say to yourself on the daily basis? (best in the morning when you wake up)

I am healthy and beautiful.

I am great.

I can handle everything.

And this is for those of you who need just a little bit more motivation:

I am going to prove you wrong, {enter name of a person who doesn’t believe in you}.

3. ‘Fake it till you make it.’

This is not a joke. I’ve tried it in the past and it totally works. They don’t say it for nothing.

Let’s have a pretend game. Wake up, get clean and nicely dressed and decide to go out and pretend to be a very confident person. Approach people for random reasons, practice. Notice how differently people treat you differently. Trust me, you’ll love it.

It’ll make you want more. And you’ll do this more frequently. It will start to feel more natural day after day.

4. Never compare yourself to others.

There are 7 billion people on this earth, 7 billion unique humans, not one of them is 100% everything. We all have our advantages and disadvantages, some of us have better math skills and others have singing talent.

But talent or no talent, we are all capable of learning something new, especially if we have a passion for it.

The first thing that people should figure out is, what is their passion.

Don’t try so hard in beating everybody in chess and feel bad if you don’t just because others are better than you if that is not something that you’re really interested in.

Don’t feel bad if you’re the last one running during physics in school if running isn’t your thing. Don’t push it if you don’t feel the urge to do it because YOU want it. Don’t push it because of some silly comparison to other people.

Use your advantages or something you’re passionate about, and just focus on these things.

And note this – when checking other people on social media, remember this quote:

Things are not always what they seem to be. Especially on social media.

5. Acquire new skills

We all feel more satisfied with ourselves when we learn new things, acquire new skills. Have a list of skills you would like to acquire in the years to come, decide what to begin with, then move to another when it’s time, and so on.

This will automatically increase your confidence to a higher level without doing anything else, you’ll see.

When I learned how to create a website/blog it makes me feel so good about myself that I learned all of this all by myself, I can’t describe it by words. Even though I reached a great deal of confidence before I even started, I can still sense huge improvement in my self-confidence.

6. Observe and study confident people

This one can make wonders. Go out, surround yourself by people, go to the gym of a cafe and listen to various conversations (you always wanted to be a spy, don’t you haha), observe people and the way they act, and take notes.

Observe how confident people approach others and try to act the same. It makes it a lot easier if you have a confident friend who is going to help you with this and show you how it’s done (so you don’t have to be a spy anymore).

If you have trouble of finding the right words in conversation or when approaching another person, remember it is all the matter of practice. The more you talk to people, the easier it gets. For the start make a list of possible small talk conversations, funny comments, diplomatic answers, … you get the picture.

Start implementing them in your daily conversations and celebrate all of your small improvements.

CONCLUSION + MY STORY

All of the tips written above are the ones I personally used the most to gain my confidence back over the years.

I don’t count the days as a kid. I was pretty confident until I turned like 11. Then something happened…

I was paralysed of having to make a phone call to someone (a doctors office, hairdresser, etc.)

I  was paralysed of sitting behind the table with a not-so-familiar person because I didn’t know what to start a conversation with him about or because of fear of saying something stupid or not funny.

I could never relax, not even on the first date with someone who obviously liked me a lot.

I had trouble when attending a class with unknown people because I had a fear of being rejected. I would then isolate myself and never talk to anyone. Later I had an even worse feeling of not being welcome.

It took me years before realizing that I created this all by myself.

I hesitated for years on starting a blog because I believed I am not good enough.

Now I know this doesn’t matter, I am not a professional writer nor I intend to be. I am just an honest woman who wants to write about life, experiences, help others, provide you with helpful tips on the topics I am passionate about. And that’s all. Those who don’t judge me by my writing and like the content itself will stick around and those who don’t, don’t.

I made a drastic change with my self-confidence over the past 10 years, Many people can’t even believe that I am such an introvert because I appear quite social and comfortable in my own skin. What they don’t know is that it didn’t come natural and that I had to work hard to get to that  point.

Today I can finally say that I know my worth and I believe in myself more than I ever did. 

Even though there are still days or times when I don’t feel quite confident in managing tasks, I guess that’s the way life is. None of us is perfect and there will always be things that are easy to do and things that are difficult.

It is ALWAYS hard to step out of the comfort zone. No matter how many times you do it.

The point is to do them anyway because the more difficult things you manage to do, the more courage will that give you on starting the next one.

The more challenges you overcome, the stronger and more confident you become.

Do you have a story to share? I would love to hear it, send me an email or leave a comment. There is nothing better than an inspirational story.

Is there a useful tip you would like to add on reaching self-confidence?

Let me know in the comments below and I’ll include your tip (if you have a blog and have your own story about self-confidence I’ll also add a link to your blog).

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