So here are my top 5 lessons I learned in these past few years on the way to my 30th birthday:

Lesson 1

Anger can be a good motivator at the moment but it doesn’t last for a long time.

Trust me. It happened many times something pissed me off and there I was, suddenly making a decision I will do something.

While it does give you a motivation needed in that same moment, it usually fades away after you calm down.

I suggest you find another trigger (as I call it sometimes), a strong wish or something that it has the power to motivate you day after day. Now I motivate myself again and again in many ways but without any self-harming habit involved. I talk more about this in other posts.

However, these are just my thoughts, you will have your own of course since you’re a unique person with a unique mindset.

Lesson 2

You can never change everything at once.

If you try to change everything at once, there is a good chance of quitting too early and returning to bad habits.

Let me explain…

How many times have you tried to quit smoking, lose weight and start eating healthier and at the same time you decided to start cleaning your house more regularly…aaand (let me take a deep breath here) then you thought of ‘Hmm, while I am changing all of this, I’ll start calling my friends more often.

Heck, I’ll change everything starting today! Or even better, tomorrow! Woohoo!

Woohoo…

Now, obviously these were just random things I just made up, but I imagine it can sound something like this. Cause, well, I can relate to that.

I am not saying there is anything wrong with wanting this, those are all good things and they should definitely be on your list of goals.

But how many times have you started your ‘ways to be better’ project and you were doing fine, but one or two things from your list suffered, didn’t go quite as planned?

How could it go when you already put too much on your shoulders at once. It takes a certain amount of energy to change a habit. It takes an effort. Now imagine how much energy you would have to put into changing all at once! 

This is usually putting us under too much pressure so we end up giving up.

And what happens next?

You say farewell to your motivation and slowly return to good ol’ habits totally unaware of it. Until some time later, you do the same cycle over again.

Come on, stop it already!

The biggest problem with leaving old habits behind is that they are the ones that we are comfortable with.  And we all love feeling comfortable, don’t we?

Pick one thing. The first one on your list. Do just that for a few weeks. Change that!

Do it until it starts feeling comfortable. I did the same with smoking and suddenly the day came I didn’t even think of a cigarette, believe me, can not even remember when exactly did that happen. It just ‘went out of my system‘.

Lesson 3

Must have a weekly cheat day.

If you want to feel good in your own body and/or lose weight, stop eating comfort food (I mean junk food or any other unhealthy meals) for more than once a week.

The mistake I did was trying to totally cut off all sweets and potato chips and all the stuff I love. And what was the consequence of all this?

I wanted it even more!

It made me unhappy to think I am not allowed to eat this ‘junk’ anymore. This is why a cheat day saved my life. So if you’re thinking why doesn’t it work the same as with cigarettes. Why can’t I wait to get this food out of my system?

My answer is NO, I can’t get it out of my system. I cannot and don’t want to! Haha.

I only don’t like the idea of eating them too frequently. So I have a day in the week when I can eat chips and cakes without feeling guilty.

I personally don’t believe in diets, I simply watch what I eat, how much and how many times a day. I have to say that cheat day keeps me really motivated daily and the thought of a ‘Saturday’ reward makes me a bit happier.

Your cheat day can be for anything else. It is a day you have a little taste of your old habit. (not counting smoking)

Just be careful not to let it pull you back in, okay?

Lesson 4

Don’t underestimate even the smallest progress you make. 

To become big, it needs to be small first. I did just that.

My focus was always on the big things, like losing 15 pounds, cooking something else every day in the week. How I see it now, I was kind of ungrateful.

I should have been proud of every small achievement I made. Now I am grateful.

And becoming grateful is one of my newest achievements.

I never drink enough water, around a glass daily, even in summertime. Many times my family kept reminding me but it didn’t work. I noticed I look pale most of the time. I also started getting headaches.

I’ve finally came up with an idea that helps me. I set an alarm on my phone for every hour, every day for all the days in advance (Except at night time of course. I’m not mad!). Listening to my alarm going on every 60 minutes I finally noticed that drinking water finally became my new habit. I don’t look tired like I usually did, and less headaches. No words can describe how happy I am about this achievement.

Now I am even more motivated to pick the next challenge on the list and start making a change about it. (See lesson 2 about not changing everything at once).

This feeling of joy when making a goal come true really pushes you further even more easily than before.

It gets easier and easier to start a new habit. You’ll see.

Lesson 5

Lose the things that are not necessary in your life. 

You probably didn’t expect this to be one of the lessons. The thing is until just a few years back, I did the exact opposite.

Whenever I was feeling down I went shopping and always brought something new. New shirts, shoes, bags, even a lamp, some coffee cups, cooking set (I already had one), a little cute saving box, another good looking saving box (you have to put the stuff somewhere, don’t you) and did I mention one more saving box?

Oh, and a million small accessories I didn’t know what I would use them for. But it just felt soo good to buy them. Made me happy for a day.

Eventually? Those exact same things made me feel bad and guilty for not using them! They were nothing but a burden to me. So I started decluttering, giving things away to those who need it and kept only what is necessary.

Now, instead of collecting things, I collect memories.

I rather go to someplace nice with my family or boyfriend or some friends. Or go to a nice dinner.

I rather take my camera and go photographing the nature or simply go for a long walk.

I love to go on trips with my mum and sister. We take some food and blankets, books, I also take my camera and we go to beautiful peaceful places just to relax and talk to each other.

It is much more exciting to buy concert tickets than new stuff.

This is what I call happiness. It doesn’t go away the next day like it does when you buy a new thing.

Don’t get me wrong. I still buy stuff. I like to buy things for home decoration and it makes me happy everyday to have a beautiful home. I just don’t go buying the  as much as I did before and in the way I did before. I avoid buying stuff that takes away room. I don’t go shopping when I’m in a bad mood anymore.

I am investing more wisely, I started with a good camera and computer. Now I invest my money in this website and quality blogging courses that provide me with much-needed knowledge.

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